Let your imagination do the work.
Imagine Me

I'll give your imagination a little help.
Even though this blogg is fairly girly looking, I am a male type person. Oh and I live in Bellingham, Wa. You can stalk me if you want.

Not much else to say.
Read the blogg, enjoy or hate, and leave me a comment or 2.
If you don't like it I'll probably cry. That or just go on with my life. Yup most likely the later.

The Past Lives
01/01/2004 - 02/01/2004 02/01/2004 - 03/01/2004 03/01/2004 - 04/01/2004 04/01/2004 - 05/01/2004 05/01/2004 - 06/01/2004 06/01/2004 - 07/01/2004 07/01/2004 - 08/01/2004 08/01/2004 - 09/01/2004 09/01/2004 - 10/01/2004 10/01/2004 - 11/01/2004 11/01/2004 - 12/01/2004 12/01/2004 - 01/01/2005 01/01/2005 - 02/01/2005 02/01/2005 - 03/01/2005 03/01/2005 - 04/01/2005 04/01/2005 - 05/01/2005 11/01/2005 - 12/01/2005

These Help Pass The Time

The Onion
In Passing; Randomly funny
Penny Arcade
Ironic Huh?
*Random Current Interest; Update 05/18/04*

*These People Are "Interesting"*

The Popsicle Stand
American Babies
Neon Virus
A Hooker With A Blogg; Let's hear it for technology
Here Is That Porn You Were Looking For; Kinda
Is This Girly Ugly?
Open A Can Of...
Missing Girl Or Girl Amiss?
Crazy Devil

A Few Facts
Tell your Grandmother about me.

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Friday, February 27, 2004

Mother Earth

On the way in to work this morning I saw a bumper sticker which read, "The earth is our mother don't disrespect her". Well I know of many people whom would all disrespect their mother in a heart beat. I think a better bumper sticker would be something like this, "The earth is our mother. Don't be a mother fucker." I think it would work a lot better. After all who wants to have sex with their mom. Although its point may be lost in the south.

Your bumper sticker here:

This image became words at 9:17 AM Thanks to ~Mysterio~

Tuesday, February 24, 2004

Computers Have Feelings Too

Just a moment ago I picked up my cell phone and in a tone that was dripping with lack of enthusiasm said the name Pam. The phone, not being sure of what name I said, asked if I wanted to call Pam. I responded with a flat emotionless yes. This got me thinking. Why are we rude to voice operated devices? No matter what I am interacting with, when the computer or recorded voice wants me to answer them I do so with little or no emotion. I will call the cable company and answer with a flat yes to the recording almost as if I had a grudge against it or it was one of my parents that had sent me to my room and I wanted them to know I was scorned, but when an operator gets on and verifies my information I will answer with a personable and happy response. This impersonal action has also been seen bye a few MIT techs when they sent out a robot to cruise the local coffee shops. It was programmed to respond to voice commands and to interact with people. The scientists observed that people would at first react as if they were mad at the robot and did not want to talk to it. This was gathered from the tone of their voice, but as they got used to it the people began talking to the robot as if it were human and using a softer tone. Good thing the phone can not tell the difference between my happy voice and my annoyed voice. If this was the case then the next time I picked up my phone and hit the voice dial button and said flatly, " Trish." The automated voice recognition software would probably tell me to fuck off until I could ask nicely.

Calling; Trish.

This image became words at 9:56 AM Thanks to ~Mysterio~

Friday, February 20, 2004


I am not a down sad person in general, and I do not want you to get the impression that this is so. I usually look on the brighter side of life and do not whine and moan over little pieces of drama. Nor do I say how much I hate my life and how it is all not fair. I like my life. I would not change anything that has happened in the past no matter what. Everything that has happened has made me who I am today.While I am not necessarily happy with where I am at this moment in school and career, I know that I can still change that and I am planning to. Again I am happy for the experiences I have and would not want to erase them. Life is generally good.

I am more of the mindset that everything will be ok and work out. I do not stress over little things to much. I am telling you all this so that you do not feel sorry for me after reading the things I am about to tell you. I was reading this blog and it reminded me of when I was a young lad.

It was Easter and I was about 5 years old. I had two brothers one 15 and the other 16 or 17 I think. Maybe the younger was 14. Anyway. My mother had gotten into a fight with my youngest older brother and he had stormed off to his room. This was early in the morning and he had to take his breakfast of eggs and bacon I think up with him. I remember at some point I had gotten an Easter basket with candy including some gummy bunnies. I was bighting the heads off of them and then eating the rest. Forgive me if this is a little random as I am typing as the images pop into my mind. We lived in a two floor house and the kid's rooms were upstairs. I remember I could see a Huge weeping willow that we had in our front yard from my window. Like I said.. kinda random thoughts.

My youngest older brother and I had a pretty good relationship together. When ever he was in trouble I would sneak upstairs and into his room and he would joke around and play with me. He was a huge joker and would always entertain me. As an example one of my favorite things to do would have him lie on his back and put his feet up and have me lie on the flats of the bottom of his feet. I would place my stomach there and hold out my arms and it would be like flying. It was a wonderful feeling. Sometimes he would hold my hands up so I would not fall and once we tried using a curtain rod with him holding it and my grasping it with my hands as I balanced on his feet. It was right infront of his face and a lot of my body weight was on it. This did not work very well cause the rod bent and nearly stabbed him in the eye. After that we went back to just me holding his hands for balance as I pretended to fly through the air. Good times. Anyway as I was saying.

I had just bitten off the head to my gummy bunny and my mother suggested I go upstairs and say thank you to the stuffed animal bunny I have up thier. They were pretending the basket was from my stuffed animals. I was 5 but I was not buying it. So to humor them and to see my brother I agreed and headed up the narrow stairs to the kids floor. I bent around the edge of the stairs and started heading to my brothers door. I could more or less see right in form where I was and noticed something a lil odd.. I approached cautiously with Easter basket in hand ready to offer brother some candy and maybe play a lil. As I got closer I saw my brother on his knees being held up by a couple of the old style bungie cords that people used to use to tie things down on the back of motor cycles wrapped around his neck and attached to the ceiling. I got right up next to him and as I did I glanced over and saw the plate of cold eggs and bacon untouched lying on his bed.

I remember seeing the cord tightly bighting into his throat and his head hanging there limply as he kneeled before me. His face was pale with the exception of many little blue dots standing out against the white skin. It looked as though he had the chicken pox, but in blue form. I was not sure what to think being so young. I said his name a couple of times and received no response. Hmm. Odd. I decided maybe he was playing a joke on me and I headed downstairs with a small nervous giggle. As I reached the bottom my mother asked what was going on. I told her that Marty (my brother) was joking around and would not talk to me. She sent my oldest brother (Tony) up to investigate. I sat on the couch and stared at my basket of candy with a not wanting to eat any of it for some reason. I heard a loud scream. It was my oldest brother Tony. I remember him coming down the stairs carrying my brother in his arms and lying him down on the floor. I still did not know what was happening at this time, but I remember my mother becoming very upset and then fire trucks coming and me being pulled into another room. Bye whom I have no idea as those moments are a bit fuzzy. They took him away to the hospital and we, Tony and I, went to a friend of the families house. I remember going to the hospital and seeing my mother there and wondering why she was not crying. I even remember asking someone and them saying that she will cry later or had been crying but she was being strong for us. Again sorry if things are kinda out of order. Thinking and typing. So I was at the hospital.

I also remember my then step dad coming into the private waiting room later in BDU's (err camo outfit) and covered in face makeup. I do not remember what he was doing before hand. I think he was in panama for something. I remember the grown ups talking and hearing them say something about red cross flying him in that day on emergency leave pretty much right out of the jungle and how he did not have time to change or shower cause he came right from the plain to here after checking in his weapons on base. And then we left. Tony and I.

I remember staying at the friend of fams house and he had hard wood floors. He brought us out a foam type mattress for us to sleep on. I think it was from storage and it had a lil mold or something on the corner. Don't get me wrong it was just from moisture and there were no mushrooms or anything.. The thing is the mold spots, because thats all it was is like a small cluster of dots, reminded me of how marty's face looked. They were small and almost blue like. I could not sleep. I kept looking up and seeing those little dots. Everytime I would flash back to my borthers face and shutter. I did not sleep well for the 3 nights we stayed at the friends house. All this time my brother was in the hospital. I heard mom talking and say that the doctors said it was lucky he did not eat before hand.. for some reason or another. I also remember our friend of the family bring in a tape recorder for me and my brother to use to record mssgs for Marty. He was unconscious and they thought our voice would help. I had no idea as to what to say except I love you and I miss you and really want you to get better so that we can play. I also remember Tony saying something about how he wanted him to get better so they could go fishing together, but he broke up into tears before he could finish the msg. My brother died during sometime in that week. I can not remember when. A few years ago while moving some of mom's stuff i found some of the tapes. AS it turns out the school marty went to made him a tape with all his classmates voices on it and well wishings. I listened to the whole thing. Sorry back to what was going on.

It was chaos for such a young person.. all the adults wondering around and being scared. Adults are not the ones who are suppose to be scared. They are the ones that you run to when you are scared. It was a very scary and confusing time for a young chap such as myself. At the wake/funeral whatever thingy people would walk up to me and ask if I was ok. I remember them all being so very tall and far away. I said I was and stood there in my suit. I remember people going into a little room and I think it was to view the body in the casket. I wanted to go so very bad just to see my brother one last time and tell him I love him, but no one would let me. I can remember my older brother going in and also other people sometimes alone and sometimes in groups.. they would take turns and I wanted my turn. It did not happen.

We went home and the rest is blurry, but I remember moving out of the house and hearing adults talk about not wanting to live in a house where a family member died.. I don't think it was my parents talking. I wodered if the next tenants would know someone died in the house and how many people had died in houses that we did not know of. We had lived in many different places. I could not begin to imagine how many had watched their previous tenants fade away and to what ever other realm the tenant believed in. I also remember looking back and seeing that big weeping willow. I love those trees,but everytime I see one it reminds me of my brother and I think to myself that in my case the name fits. Odd how you associate things.

My mother explained that Marty was trying to joke around and had put a sock under the bungie cord and it had slipped out chocking him. I am not sure if I saw any sock or not. As I said I am not sad or bitter with the world or all emo. It was just something that popped into my head today for no reason at all and I decided to type it out. There was more that had happened like having dreams that I was in our old house and it was lifting off like a rocket but Marty was on the ground and I could not reach him to come with us, but this post is to long already and I don't want to bore you to much.

Wow look at me I have an adult mature side.

This image became words at 11:58 AM Thanks to ~Mysterio~

Thursday, February 19, 2004

And Who The Hell Are You?

In an effort to get to know my readers. And as a copout. I present to you this survey thingy with questions of my choosing. Like with everything on here you can either reply to it or fuck off.. whatever. Your choice. The world is all about choice and stuff.

1. How many different brand names are you wearing?

2. How many vehicles have you owned?

3. Are your parents still together?

4. How bad do you want me?

5. Was it good for you?

6. What the hell is your problem?

! roXXer ju.

This image became words at 3:22 PM Thanks to ~Mysterio~

Wednesday, February 18, 2004

I Need A Sippee Cup

Just got back from the dentist. Mmm root canal. That was um.. fun. I head right back into work being the diligent employ that I am or something. That is of course after stopping off at the store to get something to drink and wash the taste of bits of teeth and blood and nerves and what ever else out of my mouth. At least I was awake the whole time so I know one taste I will not be washing out. I go in and purchase a cherry 7-up in bottle form. 'Cause they are good. So there. Head back to the office and sit a bit. I opened the bottle and took a nice long draw from the frothy pink goodness...odd it does not feel like fluid has flowed down my throat and into my gullet quenching my thirst. I will try again.. hmmm nope still nothing but wait what's this.. my chin seems to be nicely moistened and so does my shirt.. ahh that's where all the cherry flavored goodness has gone. Drinking with novacaine is not a good idea no matter what anyone says. Although I am sure if it was someone else in the situation I would be the first to hand them a bottle of whatever and sit back and watch. I just like suffering in others. Fuck I'm a lil disoriented from the dentist.


This image became words at 1:52 PM Thanks to ~Mysterio~

Tuesday, February 17, 2004

Cancer Anyone?

A rather scary article. Go ahead and read it. I'll wait... I am eating anyway. Hey welcome back. Did you read that article? OK what ever. So a study done in my state showed a possible link between antibiotics and breast cancer. Wow that sux. I mean say you go in for a urinary tract infection and they give you antibiotics and this is a continues type thing.. you would have to eventually decide if you would rather be able to pee or have both your breasts. Hard choice. It is interesting to note that they mentioned antibiotics killing helpful bacteria that are in your body. I love helpful bacteria. They are like spies running around in your body and stabbing the other bacteria in their back while they are not looking. So cloak and dagger. We maybe need some specialized type antibiotics that recognize the good bacteria.. like maybe they could have a sign or something. I can see the antibiotic comes up to a friendly bacteria.. "The dog barks at midnight" bacteria, "WTF are you talking about" antibiotic "The rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain." bacteria " WTF ARE..YOU..T A L K I N G ABOUT? Hey is that a gun... no wait . iiiiiiiiii....."
That will teach those bacteria.

Are you not grey squirrel?

This image became words at 9:33 AM Thanks to ~Mysterio~

Friday, February 13, 2004

What Is The World Coming To?

This article made me sad. What is the world coming to when a couple who have had everything decide to split? Ken does not know what he is giving up. I have seen many occasions when Ken was in bed with Barbie AND friends. Sad really. On the upside, Barbie is back on the market... ohh baby.

Think I have a chance?

This image became words at 9:28 AM Thanks to ~Mysterio~

Thursday, February 12, 2004

To Much Time On My Hands AT Work

Sitting there at your computer.
I come up behind you and slide my hands over your shoulders feeling you tense from the fright.
You sit there looking forward..knowing that I am behind you. I run my hands down over your arms and lean down to kiss your neck.
even before my lips touch your skin you feel my hot breath flowing from me and over you...
My lips touch and press against your neck. I run my hands back up over your shoulders and grip you firmly as my tongue plays over your skin...
moving my mouth down to the nape of your neck and over your shoulder sliding the fabric of your shirt down and pinning your arm to your side..
kissing your shoulder and pressing my body against you. I run my hands back up your arms and pull you up to standing as I do so...
You stand in front of me still not turning to see me.. I move my hands over your you feel my chest pressed against your back as I slide my hands under your shirt and over your stomach...
Sliding them up as your shirt is pulled upwards and off over your head...
Throwing the shirt to the ground leaving you standing there in your bra and pants I lean in and you can feel the fabric of my shirt on your skin...
I move my hands back over your hips and over your stomach slipping my fingers just under your waist band just above your panty line and you feel once again my hot breath on your neck as I lean in to kiss your ear...
sucking on your ear lobe as I gently nibble all the time continuing to slide my hands over your stomach and just under your waist line..
barely feeling the silk fabric of your panties as my finger tips brush over...
I move my hands up and undo the button to your pants.. you breath in as I continue to kiss your ear and I pull with my right hand undoing your button and unzipping your zipper with my left...
I I slowly slide your pants down form behind you while you lift one leg and then the other as the pants become a pile of fabric on the floor. You stand there in your bra and panties a bit cold as I reach under you and pick you up...
scooping you into my arms I lean down and kiss you on your lips.. sucking on your bottom lip as my tongue darts in and out of your mouth brushing against your lips and tongue...
I carry you to the bedroom and gently set you down on the bed in front of me...
you're there stretched out in front of me as I pull off my own shirt and throw it aside...
you watch as I undo my pants and slide them down to the floor.. stepping out of them...leaving me in only my boxers.
I lean in and kiss you once again on the mouth as you stretch to meet my lips..I lie down beside you breaking away from your soft lips and joining you on the bed.,, running my hands down your arms and over your soft skin..
feeling goose bumps rise as a chill runs through your body.. I run my hand back up your arm and over your shoulder sliding a finger under your bra strap and moving my hand back down taking your strap with it..
my other hand wrapping around your back to support your weight as I lean in and pull you close to me kissing the indentation the strap left and down your shoulder... Laying you down and sliding the other strap off..
I reach behind you unhooking your bra as my other hand moves up your stomach and over your breast...
I pull down the fabric covering you and exposing your breast to the air as my hand glides over it and caresses it gently.. removing the bra and throwing it off to the left to land on the ground...
I lean in and kiss your breast while cupping it in my hand and running my tongue over your smooth hot skin..running my tongue down over your chest and down to your stomach...
sliding my hands behind you and under your back.. kissing your stomach ..running my tongue over your skin and down to your hips.. kissing your hip bone and that place where your hips meet your stomach..sliding my tongue over you and blowing cool air over the moist places...
I move my mouth down to your belly button..kissing just below and sliding my tongue under your panties as I move my hands down to grip your ass and pull you closer to my mouth...My tongue moving over your waist line as I lift the fabric from your skin..
Moving my mouth down to where your legs join the rest of your body.. placing my mouth over the indentation just below where your panties meet your leg.. kissing and blowing hot air.. licking and tasting your skin.. I move my mouth over your panties and you can feel the hot air through the fabric as my hands tighten in grip behind you...
I breath out and move my tongue over the fabric making you squirm under my mouth...I slide my fingers under your waist band from behind and begin to pull down on your panties ... as you arch your hips up I slide them down and off of you leaving you lying there naked..
beginning to kiss your ankles I work my way up your leg kissing the inner portion of your kneecap as I bend your leg up and moving my mouth to your inner thigh kissing and pulling your skin into my mouth...
up over your hips I kiss and onto your stomach.. moving up kissing your breasts and chest .. over your neck my tongue moves.. lips pressing against your chin and over your lips as I taste you...moving my body against yours you feeling how aroused you have made me as I press against your leg..
I slide your hands down to my waist and under my boxers as you remove them and I kick them off to the side... I hover over you.. both of us naked as I push your arm up above your head grabbing the other with my free hand and holding them there above you...
kissing your neck and pinning your arms to the bed as you squirm beneath me.. kissing your neck and bighting your shoulder.. I release your arms and you begin to lower them around me.. grabbing your wrists I pin them back against the bed and continue to kiss your neck..
releasing them I move down your stomach kissing and reaching my hand up every once in a while to make sure your hands are up over your head.. I kiss down your waist and over your hip bones..blowing cool air over the hot moisture on your body.. kissing the inside of your thigh and running my tongue over your skin...
moving my tongue over you and placing my mouth between your legs .. you fell my hot breath and a hand comes down to lie on the back of my head.. I pull away and replace your arm above your head.. moving back down with my mouth hovering between your legs.. my tongue darts out and licks over your skin...
parting you as you moan and twist beneath me.. moving my hand down to grip your ass and pull you closer to me.. burying my mouth inside of you..reaching around with my hand and running my finger between you and opening you as my tongue darts in and out..
sliding my finger inside as I kiss and suck and lick.. tasting you and exploring you..pulling away I kiss over your stomach and move back up your body pressing mine against you...
Above you I move between your legs pressing my self against you and rubbing back and forth...
Kissing your neck as you wrap your arms around me and roll over so that you are on top of me straddling me as I lie beneath you... you move and grind your hips against me as I slide my hands down over your back and against your ass...
grabing you and lifting you up to just hover over me as I slowly press against you..
feeling the tip of me entering you as I pull back teasing you.. rubbing myself against you and opening you with out entering.. I grab your hips and you hover over me as I slide just inside of you.. you try to push down as just the tip enters and I hold you there... just barely inside...
and then push you up and off.. you hover yet again above me as I slide just the tip in again and push a little further.. sliding the tip in and out making you moan with pleasure as I grab your hips and pull you down hard and fast on top of me and slide all the way in with one long hard thrust..entering as far as I can..
pushing deep inside as I grab your hips and pull harder..running my hands up your back and through your hair as you arch your back and grind downward on top of me... my hips reach up and push deep as you press down...my hands roam over your breasts cupping one in each hand as I continue to push inside of you you pull up and press down again as my hands tighten on your breasts...
I reach my hand around your waist truning us over while staying locked together.. I look into your eyes as you lie there on your back and I thrust inside of you..leaning down to.....................

Not once did I say, "Throbbing manhood."

This image became words at 3:44 PM Thanks to ~Mysterio~

Wednesday, February 11, 2004

Never Ending Story

Well I am back at work after being sick on Monday and being in a day long company sales meeting on Tuesday. I feel a lil better and can actually talk now so that's good.
It is amazing how close the title song to the above named movie is to already being techno dance mix. I am listening to a net radio station I frequent and The Never Ending Story song came on in techno form. It seemed to fit somehow. Country Roads bye Willie Nelson on the other hand should never be made into Techno.

To the place *umph umph bump beat beat* where I belong...

This image became words at 10:09 AM Thanks to ~Mysterio~

Friday, February 06, 2004

Nothing To Post

Hello friends and neighbors. Here is the deal. I do not have much to say today and I am a bit ill and going home early from work. I decided to just post this story I wrote while listening to music one day. It is just stream of thought writing and I have not changed much of the original. I hope you enjoy. It is also one of the reasons I have a blog. I would keep sending Syrinx (I try to link to her once a day in a post) stuff like this and she suggested I get a blog so she could get some work done. Warning: It's a little long and I love ignoring grammar and spelling.

So here I am again. An all to familiar place. The local watering hole that every town has. Another day another dollar as the old timers say, but not money coming in, as the quote was meant to express..instead going out.. my wallets getting lighter with each passing day. AS if that was even possible in the new age of plastic. The expression should be "the wallets getting heavier" as the debt piles up and adds weight to the card. Hell I could get a work out every time I lift this plastic form of currency form its much worn slot. Feels like it weighs at least 110 lbs, my heart starts to race and little beads of sweat break out on my forehead. Should make this a form of calisthenics...it certainly gets the heart rate up.. so here I am.. nursing my economically sound generic beer that I purchased with my modern version of clam shells.

I've read somewhere that it takes one hour for your body to burn off an average alcoholic drink. Well if I keep up this pace ill be able to drink for 3 days straight and not get drunk. It's ok though, I really don't mind. See I don't come here for the beer or even the establishment its self. Don't get me wrong its a nice enough place. A lil wood shack of sorts off of the main street. More of a local hang out. It has all the amenities needed in such a place. One old slightly off balance pool table that no one really plays anymore but everyone would greatly miss were it ever removed. A few trophies earned by hunters that have come and gone throughout the years, the least of which would not be the Giant bores head over the gold veined mirror behind the bar. Ouf what a beast. That one brought down bye none other then the owner of this fine establishment and for which the place is named. Often the owner tells his story of how the hunting trip changed his life leading him to open this modern ale house where the dying paper currency as well as the shiny new plastic kind are both honored with the same respect. Here money is money and credit is only good when validated bye visa.

But really the proprietors story is not why your here and that's why it will be skipped. The description just helps to set the background and let you know what kind of a place this is. Its nothing great really, just a place to wait...and let time slip. Ohh one more thing about my hiding hole, no clock. This is a place where time does not matter. The only way you know the passing of the hour is bye catching a glimpse of the light streaming through the door as a new patron comes in or out. So how is it that I know my drinks last longer then an hour? Well that's where we come to my story.

My trusty watch. Yup sitting there on my wrist.. always present better then a lover. Leaving me only when I shower and sometimes when I sleep. Better then a woman in some ways, reminding me of my ex wife in others. Like the way it leaves and indent on your skin letting you know it was there like the outline your wife leaves on her side of the bed in the morning.. both places feel empty when there creators are gone. Hmm memories of the past..they some how do creep up on you. Lets leave the past where it is and return to this place.

so... the booz is lousy, can't afford much better, the environment is mediocre. I mean its better then a club but its no great place like that one on TV where everyone knows your name or anything. So why? Why would I come here if not for the drink and not for the company...well I come for the view. Not the view of the old boars head or the pool table that leans to the left. No its really what comes later during the day. Usually at around 4:30. Hell even if I did not have a watch I would be able to tell the time of 4:30 bye the light forcing its way in through the swinging door. I've seen it enough to have gotten pretty good at tracking the time. I suppose that it helps that I also look at my watch every 10 minutes or so. Yup.. look at watch.. door opens.. light streams through.. not what I'm waiting for.. look at watch.. door opens...repeat. So I have gotten pretty good at knowing what time it is by how far the light can reach acrossed the old wooden floor each time the door is open.

I rarely order more then one drink every hour and a half or so. Like I said I'm not here to get drunk, but they wont let you stay if you don't order something. And really I suppose it would look kinda odd with me just sitting here glancing from my watch to the door all day. Besides the beer gives me something to do while I wait. I don't sit here all day. I mean I get up every once and a while to make my way towards the back and down the long hall to the men's lavatory. A short but well traveled route. No matter how many trips I take during that day I allways make sure to be back at my tabel before 4:30. Why 4:30? Well ... beacuase that's my whole reason for being here.

See I first came to this place about 4 months ago after I had been fired from my job at a company that was "downsizing", had come home to find my wife was leaving me, and my dog had been run over. Ok I have never owned a dog, but I am sure that had I, then one said dog would have been flattened out in the drive way to meet me on my way to park my car and find the note left by my wife. Ex wife? Hell whatever. that's just the way the day was going. I took up the note, read it... and set it back on the table.. "I don't love you.. your a loser..you never satisfied me sexually and I'm leaving you for your boss (ex boss?)" Ok I know that's not what was on that sheet of paper, but for all that was written it may have well been. After gathering myself up I decided to go for a drive.. I received my pleasant bit of "your fired" at around 2 in the afternoon, so it was early yet. about 3:10 if my watch is anymore faithful then my wife. So I drove, and that is how I found The Drunk Boar.

Quaint. Hell I could use a drink so I stopped in and went through the rituals of getting a drink on the promises of me and visa with out a single dime exchanging hands.. ahh credit. I took an out of the way tabel where I could watch the door swing back and forth and the few patrons enter and exit.. it kept my mind busy thinking of where they were heading or coming from. When the door began to open again I was preparing my self for another little show in my head with this patron being the main character.

I was thinking maybe this time I would go for an "I just got fired" scenario, something I can sympathies with. All preparation and thought left my mind as soon as the blinding light rushed through the door and I saw the outline of what I was sure had to be a trick of the light. I can still see her standing there.. Not very tall, but some how taking up the full length of the door frame with her presence. Magnified by the sun.. I see an outline.. long hair pulled back in one single braid that moves from side to side as she opens the door... she stands there with her hand on the glinting metal attached to the door.. the sun filters through her thin dress and I can see the curves of her legs outlined like a statue of dark obsidian against the light of the sun filtering from behind her. Small specks of fabric created the illusion of dark stars on a bright background. Her legs are spread in mid stride and I can see each one with remarkable clarity...her calves taught with the step she is about to take .. hard and narrowing bulging out until they join with the rest of her leg.. up over the knees and around the thighs the light flows. Up and over the inner thighs you can see the outline of where her legs meet the rest of her body and it is like some other much more enjoyable form of exercise then using the plastic to pay for something.. it brings with it the increased heart rate and the sweat on the brow, but with it also comes increased blood flow to every part of the body sending tingles all over.. rushing up from your spine and over your head wrapping you in a blanket of electricity while staring at this sun drinched beauty standing there in the door way for what seems like hours.. the door shuts behind her and for a moment all I can see is the outline of her legs and the sun shining through like a negative burned on to my cornea. When my eyes clear she is gone and I begin to think I have imagined it all.

I look over to my left and see her heading behind the bar and know that she is real.. as it turned out she was working here to help pay for school.. she would walk around and pick up bottles or empty ash trays, but I don't really think I ever saw her do any real work. I heard a bit of some gossip later that she was just hired to bring in more customers and keep them in there seats. It has seamed to work and she was good at it.

She would come over and sit with you for a while and talk and just kinda hang out and the owner did not seem to mind that she was doing little or no work. Not a bad idea I suppose.. it did keep people in the little joint. Now I don't want you to get the wrong idea about this girl.. she was no harlot, just a nice girl who liked to talk to people.. and not all the guys she talked to wanted sex. A lot of them just wanted someone they could chat with for a bit. And she was happy to be a good host.

After a few months of me visiting, we got to know each other pretty well.. she would allways come in and sit with me and we would talk until it was time for her to head out. I would usually leave shortly after. Once she left there was no reason for me hanging around.

so that's my routine I come in and sit...drink.. nurse..talk to a pretty grl..go home...wake up... pretend to look for work and come here to start the day all over again. Like today for instance, I got up at about 6:30 and took a shower sat down to have a bit of breakfast consisting of cold cereal and...oh wait.. hey look at the time ... shuu wait.. loook its her...

Long huh?

This image became words at 12:31 PM Thanks to ~Mysterio~

Thursday, February 05, 2004

Damn I'm An Ass

First off... Fuck you, I could not find any appropriate gif for me being an ass so instead you get drinking. Look I'm not perfect OK? And neither are you. I saw the look you got in your eyes that one day you caught a glimpse of your relative naked. So who are you to judge? Now on to my point....what ever that was. Ahh yes. I am an ass at times.

Most of the time I'm just playing and being "funny" or something, but I have been known to just be fucking out right mean just to make people cry. I used to do this to preppie girls whom thought they were better then everyone else. Example? Sure why not. I am fairly out going and will talk to anyone. Believe me guys you do not have to be good looking to talk to girls, just out going and confident. Hell I knew this one girl who was interested in this guy just cause he looked confident. He looked like an ass to me, but what do I know. I'm getting off track again. Back to the example.

A friend would go talk to little miss prisss in hopes of starting up a conversation or maybe just wanting to get to know people. Often times the prissy lil girl would look at said friend and switch into mega mega bitch mode. With comments such as, "Why would I talk to you?" or "leave me alone loser." And hey I know what your thinking and the friend was not me.. fuckers. Damn allways with your judging. What I would do is sit back and watch this. It would usually take place after I had worked my friend up enough to actually go over and talk to said girl. See how it could not be me 'cause I was watching and what not... you get it, you're smart and stuff. I have faith in you.

So I would watch and he would come back with his head down and his spirit crushed and tell the story of how he was not only shot down, but also verbally castrated in front of everyone. If he had just been rejected with a simple no thanks or what ever that would have been fine, but to be treated like your a complete loser just for going out on a limb and maybe shooting beyond your goals is just not acceptable. What would I do you ask? Hey thanx for asking. It really shows you care and that means a lot to me. I would go to said girl and act really interested and totally hit on her. Kissing up to her ego and making her think I really wanted her. After talking a while the female would normally ask to go sit at a table or maybe dance with her. At this point, after being nice and interested and what have you, I would normally say something like, "You know I would, but you're kinda a bitch and I'm finding out I can't even stand wasting the time talking to you that it would take to get to fuck you so I'm just going to go now." and would walk back to my friends seat with a smile on my face usually leaving her there all alone and pissed off.

Not like I am great looking and can get any girl I want. Just out going enough to approach and this usually worked. So OK I am kind of an ass there, but that story was not what my subject line referred to. I was reading this blog and The comment at the end about weight reminded me of something. I was riding home with my co worker (breathster) and we were driving through the university. We pass through it every day on the way to and from work. And this rather large girl was walking down the path (this was at the beginning of the school year) and I said "Looks like she brought her freshmen 15 with her." Yeah it's a mean comment and I am sure I am going to hell for it, but I did not really mean it. I was just being an ass and it's not like she heard.

I would never really say something like that to a girl unless she did something mean and I really wanted to hurt her. In general I care about how people feel. I just say stuff to see what others will do. I like to push that envelope. Like making comments about freshman girls and how they have high hopes, but are probably just going to get screwed over bye some guy who introduces them to the joys of double penetration and then leave them crying on the bedroom floor feeling used and useless. Stuff like that.

I think Syrinx hated me when she first met me 'cause I would make comments like, "Woman I'm taking away your talking card" and stuff like that. Not seriously and not to her. I did not know her that well at the time and would not say anything like that to her. And I KNOW I made Diego a little uncomfortable when he first met me. He is of some kind of Asian ancestry or some shit and I would make racist comments in general. Not about him just about anyone not even his race. What ever race that may be. And he thought I was being serious at first, but now he understands that I do not mean halfe the stuff I say. I'm just an ass. Oh another thing about the drive home with breathster.

Each day we pass the new rec center the school just built and it has big glass windows with a hot tub where we can see in as we drive bye. Each day we gander inside in search of some scantly clad co-eds. One day he is driving and can not look do to traffic so he asks me if there are any girls in there. I reply with, "Nope just dick soup." You know cause it's guys and umm it is a hot tub. I thought that was funny. Fuck you I don't need your approval. I know I am funny and that's what counts.

Please like me....or fuck off..Either is good for me.

This image became words at 2:34 PM Thanks to ~Mysterio~

Wednesday, February 04, 2004

Do You Want Me?

A story I have told as many people as I can think to tell. Maybe you know her. I was sitting lying on my bed with a female friend and we began to fool around. Nothing big, just some kissing and light petting. Things began to progress and the kissing and touching became more intense. In the heat of the moment my friend locks eyes with me and very seriously says,"do you want me?". I was fairly turned on and a bit of a young chap so I respond with a heart warming romantic line of "Uhhh yeah." to which she responds with batted eyes and heaving chest all breathy like, "Then TAKE me." Err....OK I know this was supposed to be all romantic like and I am sure that on what ever soap opera she saw this it all worked out great and the man probably whisked the lady up into his arms and carried her away to make love to her under the stars or some junk, but that was not the reaction I had. Once the words left her mouth I had to immediately turn away from her and try to hold in the laugh that was building inside of me, This was to no avail and I soon bursted with laughter and shortness of breath. I think she was pretty upset, but it was a little hard to see her face through the tears streaming from my eyes. I did not mean to laugh, but I could not hold it in. After that things became a lot cooler between us. The romantic mood had been broken and all hope to salvage the night was gone. Some years later I was talking to the same girl and she told me she had made a porno movie. I was a little shocked. I wonder if ever since that moment on my bed she had not been able to find a serious relationship and just jumped from guy to guy unable to open up and tell them what she is thinking. Or maybe she just liked doing porn. Perhaps she got to finally use that line...it sounds kinda like porn dialogue.

"Then TAKE me!!!"

This image became words at 12:32 PM Thanks to ~Mysterio~

Tuesday, February 03, 2004

On Erections

I had read this post and it reminded me of something. It is a little bit of knowledge that I am sure not all females know of. Its the amazing disappearing erection trick mastered by young men across the world.

I am not sure if it is an inherited maneuver locked deep within the Y chromosome or just something self taught. Either way it is a life saver. The trick is very simple to pull off and one need only be wearing some type of underwear. Boxers, briefs, boxer briefs, and even those skimpy bikini briefs will suffice. What happens is this. A man often has unwanted erections throughout his life. They just seem to pop up out of no where and for no reason. This is most embarrassing in a public situation. To hide the embarrassment and the offending protrusion men use the trick named above.

To make the Penis seem to disapear a man will allow it to stand straight up and pull his underwear band down over the tip of the stalwart soldier pushing it against his skin and locking it in place into "Safety mode". This prevents the embarrassing "is that a banana in your pocket?" comment and hides all physical knowledge of an erection form the out side world. It is a nifty trick and is often used.

Once the erection begins to fade it slides out from under the band and is safely home against the leg as it should be. This method works much better then just pushing the eager guest down against your leg while it is still erect where it would surely be seen or just letting it strain against your pants as it pushed straight out and "pitched a tent". The only problem lies in finding a way to discretely re-arrange ones self with out being noticed.

Nothing worse then being caught with your hand down your pants unless of course that is being caught with your hand down your pants and then the person who caught you seeing that you have an erection. No explaining that one away with a simple "I was readjusting".

Erection... te he.

This image became words at 10:18 AM Thanks to ~Mysterio~

Monday, February 02, 2004

I Feel So Dirty

My GF and I went with Syrinx and Trenchy (no link available) [ EDIT: Now with spiffy link] to a Helles Bells concert at the Fairhaven pub on Saturday. It was fun, but there has got to be something about an all female band that empowers women. I finally understand a little of what girls go through when they go out to clubs. The groping, pulling, touching, and prodding....well maybe not the prodding part.

I was standing with my GF in front of me with my arms wrapped around her while we watched the band and moved along to the music. The place was very crowded and bodies were pressed tightly against other bodies. Every time a girl would pass she would run her hand over my back and shoulder and down my arm gently brushing the fabric of my shirt and saying, "excuse me. " or "sorry I just need something to hold on to for a sec." All this was OK and I was very used to being in social situations and I am a master at moving through crowds so I have no problems with people invading my space to work through a crowd. However I did begin to feel a little odd as a few girls passed bye and wrapped there arm under mine and ran there hand down my side. Hmm. OK whatever.

I'm not that offended by being touched now and again and it's only a flirty walking by type thing. Nothing like what girls have to go through with having there ass grabbed and god for bid they should wear a skirt. So no big deal even if a hand would linger on my body every once in a while. All this was fine until this blonde girl behind me started repeatedly pressing her body against me and grinding her chest and hips against my back.

As I said I was standing with my GF in front of me and my arms wrapped around her. Very obviously with someone. About the middle of the concert I started feeling the unmistakable shape of breasts against my back. I look back and this small blonde is bouncing and jumping kinda to the music. I catch her eye and she says something like, " oh sorry but I keep getting forced forward." Err sure no prob it's a crowed and these things happen. 1/2 an hour later of continues grinding and thrusting of her body and much "oops I'm sorry" statements she comes back up with "Ooops I'm sorry I hope you don't mind me humping your back" at which point she slides her arm under mine and her hand along my flank and continues to grind away. She was so tightly pressed againts my back that I am pretty sure she had on a front clasping braw. And I think it was lacey at the top. Had she been male I am sure I could have felt each individual chest hair. Now is the time I decide to kinda break away and I move up close to my GF and kinda slide her over to the side moving me out of the direct line of thrust from this girl. The rest of the concert was great and I was no longer bombarded bye thrusts.

Helles Bells were great and a lot of fun. They really know how to energize the crowd and are good with there individual instruments and voices. And while this is nothing like what girls go through in a club I'm sure, I can now appreciate better what hassles they have to endure.

"I hope you don't mind me humping your back."

This image became words at 1:12 PM Thanks to ~Mysterio~

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