Let your imagination do the work.
Imagine Me

I'll give your imagination a little help.
Even though this blogg is fairly girly looking, I am a male type person. Oh and I live in Bellingham, Wa. You can stalk me if you want.

Not much else to say.
Read the blogg, enjoy or hate, and leave me a comment or 2.
If you don't like it I'll probably cry. That or just go on with my life. Yup most likely the later.

The Past Lives
01/01/2004 - 02/01/2004 02/01/2004 - 03/01/2004 03/01/2004 - 04/01/2004 04/01/2004 - 05/01/2004 05/01/2004 - 06/01/2004 06/01/2004 - 07/01/2004 07/01/2004 - 08/01/2004 08/01/2004 - 09/01/2004 09/01/2004 - 10/01/2004 10/01/2004 - 11/01/2004 11/01/2004 - 12/01/2004 12/01/2004 - 01/01/2005 01/01/2005 - 02/01/2005 02/01/2005 - 03/01/2005 03/01/2005 - 04/01/2005 04/01/2005 - 05/01/2005 11/01/2005 - 12/01/2005

These Help Pass The Time

Don't Be A *MOTHER FUCKER*
The Onion
In Passing; Randomly funny
Penny Arcade
Ironic Huh?
*Random Current Interest; Update 05/18/04*

*These People Are "Interesting"*

The Popsicle Stand
American Babies
Neon Virus
A Hooker With A Blogg; Let's hear it for technology
Here Is That Porn You Were Looking For; Kinda
Is This Girly Ugly?
Open A Can Of...
Missing Girl Or Girl Amiss?
Crazy Devil

A Few Facts
Tell your Grandmother about me.

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Mental Image
Monday, May 31, 2004

this is an audio post - click to play

This image became words at 11:46 AM Thanks to ~Mysterio~

Thursday, May 27, 2004

Q $ A Friday Pt. ..Something. Q Vs. A

It's the return of Q$A Friday. You Love it you know. And It's all yours. Todays Q comes from yours truly.


Q: If a pistachio falls on the floor, do you pick it up and eat it?


I am talking a full in shell nut. It's not like other items of food that fall to the floor. It is protected. Kind of like dropping a twinkie win it's still in the wrapper. Now if it was a sunflower seed... Well that I could understand. Only because you often insert part of the shell into your mouth to get to the seed. Well Let me know what you think.




I'll be here.

This image became words at 2:20 PM Thanks to ~Mysterio~

Wednesday, May 26, 2004

Expedia All The Way

Saw this add....




Does it look like this girl is masturbating? You have a very dirty mind.




Mmmmm Expedia.com

This image became words at 1:20 PM Thanks to ~Mysterio~



7..8...Go To Crystal Lake.

I finally got around to downloading... uhh.. I.. hmm.. err... I mean RENTING. Yeah renting, that's it. Freddy Vs. Jason. What a fucking hilarious movie. I loved it. Was it at all scary? No. Even most of the death scenes sucked. It's truly sad when even a few nude woman can't save a movie. And there was even, if you will parden my french, a bush shot. Poor Wes Craven. Did he know what he was doing when he said, "Yes take Freddy and do what you want with him"? That's like letting your young son go stay with that creepy old man from down the street who has no kids and loves to dress up like a clown on the weekends and hang out at the park. Though I did enjoy the way they kept the core of the way the two different characters kill. And I do not mean just via dream or machete. When Jason would kill someone in this movie it would be with a hack or a slash or maybe just a pipe through the mid section. Mainly hacks and slashes or decapatations. Freddy, on the other hand, would use something creative like a smoking caterpillar akin to Alice in Wonderland. Or maybe blood turning into a solid mass and staking your feet to the floor. I am glad the director had at least enough talent to separate the two characters in that way. At least they got that right.

The plot, on the other other hand, was just awful. The main characters would just burst out with some revelations of how to kill the badies and how and why they were killing. I'm not talking plot wholes here. More like big ass neon plot arrows pointing to what the director wanted you to know about the story. The only way they could be more blatant would be to do an aside in the middle of the film and have one of the characters tell the audience exactly what was going on.

I love Nightmare On Elm Street. I always have. Those movies were some of a select few that would scare the shit out of me. And it was great. I enjoyed the inventive ways people would die and the awesome special effects. I would have to say the best part about Freddy Vs. Jason would have to have been the beginning where they showed clips from a few of the original Nightmare On Elm Street flicks. My GF has not seen any Jason or Freddy movies (fucked up childhood I know)and just caught a glimpse of the beginning of this flick with said cuts of past movies and was grossed out. We will definitely have to rent the whole series for her. She did not stay and watch the rest of the flick with me, for which I am grateful. I believe it would have ruined any chance for her to actually take the franchise of Freddy seriously. Yeah I would have to say that between the two in ratings of scary and funny that Freddy would have to be my favorite. He just had a comic way about him and was sassy as hell. I can say sassy and still claim to be straight right? I even liked the TV series they had for Nightmare. All in all I would say "rent" this movie and watch it. But then I have a great love for truly awful movies. Ask my friends. They have had to sit through a few including an english dubbed Italian zombie flick where the son bights off his moms neoprene nipple. The 30 yr old son I am pretty sure.




Two Thumbs Up.

This image became words at 8:19 AM Thanks to ~Mysterio~

Tuesday, May 25, 2004

Kill All Humans

My robot army is nearing completion. Soon you will all feel the rath of my 4" justice. Oh yeah that's right. I now have a total of 4 fucked up robots. They look like they were purchased at bargain droids. And they're in black and white. Ohhh fearsome. Anyway here are some pics. Mainly cuz I love using the office digicam for this type of stuff.



Here he is. You all know him and love him. Drunk Bot 9k



Here is the second robot I made. Yeah he is fucked and wont be carrying any important msgs back to the Jedi.


This guy had arms I had to pin on him. No glue :) He also has a pin on his head. Reminds me of a certain bear with a metal hat in a certain book with a certain gun slinger.


And of course the leader of the army could be none other then the famous Roby The Robot.


I had forgotten to post this pic originally. Here is the whole group. Kind of like a Vietnam war photo of the troups. Oh yes and don't forget General Dog.


So there you have it. I know they don't look that scary now, but wait till they are on fire. And hey I know you saw small soldiers. Those toys looked just as innocent. I still say I need to make a star wars movie out of these guys. Something where they all burn at the end. And as I said it would be cheaper and probably better then episode 1.




Clatu; Barrata-Nikto. And that's not the line from evil dead.

This image became words at 3:28 PM Thanks to ~Mysterio~

Monday, May 24, 2004

Went To A Movie This Weekend

And no matter what this guy says, the movie was great. I saw Van Helsing and actually enjoyed it. Not cause it was good, but because it had so many throw backs to the age of universal monster pics. It was great because it was cheesy. It can best be summed up by these words from my GF. As we were walking out, she looked at me and said "That was the first movie in which I was not sad when one of the main characters died." Don't worry I'm not giving anything away with that statement. The movie includes a few main characters. All this was very entertaining and all, but the coup de grand had to have been in the credits. I almost always stay for the credits to a movie. GF hates it. This time it was worth it. If you've seen the movie you know that the end credits are done in a way that makes you think the producer had just a little extra money left over form his CGI budget and just HAD to spend it all. This was not so impressive. The thing that got me was one of the stunt woman's names. Heidi Moneymaker. Oh yes it's a real name. This poor poor girl. She would have a great career in porn I am sure. Hell with a name like that how could you go wrong? That and upon further inquest I found out she has a past career made for porn. That is if it is the same person. Or maybe she could just be a porn stunt woman. Thay have those right? I mean for the flips and upsie down stuff and what not, right? So remember. After you get done watching a movie, hang around. You never know what you might see and besides those best boys worked hard and deserve your praise. Oh and the paper robot army is coming together nicely. Well. It's coming together. Um. Ok It barely holds it's self together, but they are done. I now have an R2D2. Maybe I will attempt that dragon next.



What's Your Porn Name?

This image became words at 11:14 AM Thanks to ~Mysterio~

Friday, May 21, 2004

Domo Arigato Mr. Roboto...

The Can Man is to thank for what follows. As you will see today was a very productive day in the office. While the following may look like shit, I did not use any glue or tape like some other people I know.
Here is what it is supposed to look like and below is my version. He looks a little drunk.


That dog looks mesmirized.



Ohhh this could be some kinda stop animation thing.



What a lush.


If you would like to have a go at this then please jump on the band wagon. Next I think I will try the R2-D2 looking one.
Should be fun.




I Am A Modern Man (secret secret he's got a secret), With Parts Made...

This image became words at 4:42 PM Thanks to ~Mysterio~

Thursday, May 20, 2004

How To Piss Off Your Fema-Nazi Coworker.

It's odd how some people react to certain words or ideas. I am referring to cat lady here in the office. I randomly shoot out ideas and sentences throughout the day and week just to kind of judge her reaction to things. It's a fun and dangerous game. I hope she does not own any automatic weapons. Let me give you some examples. This lady is an extreme environmentalism and vegan. I have no problem with people having certain beliefs and living their lives as they wish. I just like to fuck with people. Most of the things I say around her I don't really mean. Like a few weeks ago when I casually mentioned that Canada's seal hunting season has opened in the east. Or that I could really go for some deep fried baby seal. I, mostly, did not mean it. Or that I was going to start purchasing items that were only made bye companies that harmed the environment and exploited people and animals. I mean why should just the nature friendly and humanitarian companies get all the hype. She would probably hate the stories I have of an old sergeant I used to know who lived on a farm as a kid and would set out a metal pie tin field with cat food for the many cats they had on the farm. He would then hook up a battery to the plate via some wires and sit back and watch as the cats would come to eat. He lived on a farm with MILLIONS of cats. The cats would just get a little jolt and be on their way. He knew of others, however, that were not so nice. One guy he knew used to bury the cats up to the neck and then mow his lawn. Something tells me she would not like to hear those stories. I must admit though, it is fun keeping her on a fine balance of sanity and chaos. I can see, in her eyes, moments when she is just about to burst and I pull back. She does the cutest little things like clutch her hands to her chest and almost ball up into a protective mass. It's so cute. It's like that game I am sure you all used to play where you lie your hand on top of your friends and then they try to hit your hands before you can pull them away. I think it was called hot hands or something.




Highway To The Danger Zone...

This image became words at 10:20 AM Thanks to ~Mysterio~

Tuesday, May 18, 2004

Come Along...

You belong. Feel the fizz of coo coo cola. Damn I used to love that show! Anyway. I don't feel like posting today about anything really interesting so if you want you can either go here to my new random interest or you could make up something interesting about me. Maybe something I did this weekend. Who knows? Go crazy. Have a blast. First prize is my first born, but like the deal I make with everyone else, I will have GF smoke and drink and use drugs so that when it comes out it will be more of a burden then anything. Hell you wont even be able to use it for manual labor. That will teach you not to be so cold and heartless.



No returns!

This image became words at 8:50 AM Thanks to ~Mysterio~

Monday, May 17, 2004

Post Teen Angst

Piss Off




Thanx

This image became words at 10:53 AM Thanks to ~Mysterio~

Tuesday, May 11, 2004

Normally I don't Do This, But

Last night while playing Red Dead Revolver I received a phone call from an "unknown number". Figured what the hell and answered it. I was greeted with a friendly voice asking me if I would like to participate in a survey. Hell I had some time. I was just sitting and playing anyway. The young lad went on to explain that this was to get an idea of the shopping habits of pple in my area. Sure whatever just let me play my game. So at this point in the video game goodness I was riding a horse along a train and shooting banditos while trying to hop on and off my horse and said train. It was a very difficult level. So the guy is asking me questions and I am answering and interrupting with a few curses of shit and fuck interspersed between my answers. At first the guy was a little confused and even said excuse me? a couple of times. This passed shortly. Eventually we went to a rating system for two stores and he advised that I just throw out two numbers form 1-10 the first representing how I felt about the first store on this particular question and the second representing the other store. So it followed that I would answer. 9.. (fall of horse) fuck.. 8. Next question. 10...(get shot bye a bandito).. Mother fucker..8. This went on for a while and at the end the surveyor thanked me and hung up. It was a nice way to do business. He got what he wanted and I got to play my game. People helping people. Isn't life grand?

I have decided that the next time a survey person calls I am going to make a deal with him or her. I get to ask them one question for every question they ask me. That sounds fair right? "Have you bought groceries in the last week?" Yes. Do you like dogs? "Umm sure." "Sir, how much did you spend the last time you went grocery shopping? Hmm I would have to say around $30. How many dogs have you petted in the last 1/2 hour?




Everyone needs a hobby.

This image became words at 10:08 AM Thanks to ~Mysterio~

Monday, May 10, 2004

And How Are You?

I know I should be posting about the movie I was in this weekend, or about how there was a fight outside the location we were filming in and the cops that had to be called. Or maybe the bed and breakfast me and my GF went to the weekend before last or maybe just the new look for blogger. Hell I could even post asking if you wanted me to change to the new blogger comment format. You folks bitch enough about the service I currently use that I am sure it would be rather popular. Instead I have decided to post about you.

That's right this one is all about those who read this. A kind of a turn the table situation. Yes it is my blog and it's supposed to be about me, but hey since it's my blog I can more or less do what I want right? Great. Glad you agree. So why don't you tell me a little about your self. Let me know how you are doing and what you have been up to. Or maybe just tell me your favorite kind of pie. What ever you want cause hey it's all about you today. And no cop out and sending me to your blog or profile page. See I don't go for that "look it up" shit. I am not ten anymore. When I ask a question I want an answer. Not to be told to "look it up". So there you have it. Go man go!



3..2..1..CONTACT..is the answer...

This image became words at 1:47 PM Thanks to ~Mysterio~

Thursday, May 06, 2004

I Haven't Forgotten About You.

I am busy today so you will have to go and entertain your self. Don't look at me that way! Sorry if I have let you down. Actually I couldn't care less if I have let you down. Hell I don't even know you.

OK that was a little harsh. Here I am sorry. Come here. Tell me all about it. It will be OK. Well at least let me help you then. Here. Go read a book. You know? Get some education and what not. OK I hear ya'. You don't like books. Well that's fine. Maybe instead you would like to take this time to watch a classic film of goodness. It is no Kaptin Kronos (and if you know what I am talking about then you are very sad) but it is still a good movie. Or you could check out my updated random current interest over there on the left.

Well that is all I really have for you internet. Wow you have given me so much I think it's time I give back. I still love TV more then you and will never leave her dear internet, but you are a close second and I do care about you. It's just that TV and I have such history. Shuhh I Know. It's all going to be ok. Now let's go look at some porn.




There there, now now.

This image became words at 10:30 AM Thanks to ~Mysterio~

Monday, May 03, 2004

TWAT

Got me thinking about the English language. It is odd how something becomes a bad word. I mean you may not have been able to say shit as a little kid but poop or pooh was ok. Even though they essentially mean the same thing. It's just making up one word to replace another. They did this in laugh in all the time. Bippy was used to replace ass so that they could piss off the scensors. Another good example is the word Smeg.

Smeg is short for smegma, which is defined with delicacy as 'a sebaceous seretion, especially that under the prepuce'. It is from the Greek for soap, which is worrying in its own way, and it is also known as knobcheese.
Smeg, smegging and smeg-head were popularised by the tv show "Red Dwarf", where it was intended to suggest obscenity while still being broadcast by the BBC.


But that's kinda besides the point. Wait! I forgot what my point was. Oh yes Twat. Where did this wonderful word come from you ask? Well I am here to help. It is odd that no one really looks at the origin of words like Twat or toothpaste. I mean it's paste for your teeth, but nobody puts the emphasis on tooth. Like a certain kind of paste. Well for your education I have found for you the origins of TWAT!

Taken from this informative page.

This comes from an Old Norse word for cut or slit, hence it's modern meaning of vagina.

Twat is widely used in the UK as a slightly more expressive form of 'twit'6 or 'idiot', and it seems likely that most of the people using it do not know what it means. They are in good company. Robert Browning clearly didn't when he wrote the following lines in "Pippa Passes":

Then owls and bats
Cowls and twats
Monks and nuns in a cloister's moods,
Adjourn to the oak-stump pantry.

However it is probable that he was misled by a poem printed around 1660 when that well known and scurrilous poet Anon stated:

They talked of his having a Cardinal's Hat,
They'd send him as soon an Old Nun's Twat.
Which appears to be why Browning thought it meant a piece of nun's clothing, specifically a wimple; and is a clear lesson to us all to check words we don't understand in a dictionary, and not to infer meaning from context. Though if they had offered him a Policeman's Helmet 7 you would have thought that even Browning would have realised what was up.


I wonder if twat could be used another way. Like what would be the definition of twatling or being twated?
If you would like to know more then please visit this lil TWAT.

And now you know....



And knowing is half the battle.

This image became words at 4:20 PM Thanks to ~Mysterio~

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